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♥ 124
Thursday, February 19, 2009
11:12 PM

today was fun! but so tiring. D: woke up at around 8.30am to prepare myself to go down to jurong primary to coach my aunt's house team for cheer! some of the kids are really cute, and they can catch pretty fast. but the boys are just horrendous. you know, the naughty naughty kind and dont listen to you and refuse to learn. and i get super irritated. but oh well, im not qualified to scold them so i cant do anything but tolerate. one hour of practice and i only taught two 8 counts. i am inefficient. sighs. need to work at a faster pace for the next lesson~

then went home around 11am, reached back aroun 11.30am. i decided to go for a swim! cos i've been feeling fat recently and yeah, i gotta keep fit at least. so i went down arond 12pm to go swimming. swam 20laps, arounf 30mins. and i got tanned. yes, TANNED IN 30MINS. lol. there is this white line on my left arm where the elastic rubber band with my locker key on it was there. now i have this ugly white mark. D: sian. after swimming i went over to provence to reward myself! bought a small brazilian cheese bun. :D but after eating it i felt that i swam for nothing. i gained back the weight i lost... DDD:

then after that went to PS to meet the zoo peeps for lunch! at cafe cartel. yes, i know you're gonna go 'RICH KID' but then it's been a long long time since i last ate out in a proper restaurant so it's not considered splurging. :D although my heart aches to just spend $13 on a chicken lasagna... yeah. for lunch, ppl present were ice, spidey, me, pinkie, rei, neko and mao. phy and seph came to join us when we were going arcade. i played the 投篮机! :D one game, with ice. it was damn fun but damn tiring also. damn long never play already! so nostalgic. :D the rest played the usual games off guitar freaks, drum mania, jubeat. after quite some time, we decided to head to paradiz centre for lan. :D left4dead! :DDD

ice and seph left after arcade, so they didnt join us for gaming. it's been like so so so damn long since i last stepped in to a lan shop! and it's only me second time in one. -.- okay, so the 8 of us played left4dead versus campaign! i hate being the zombie i tell you. especially being the stupid boomer who cant do anything. and zombies die easily. i prefer being human and shooting zombies down. :D it's like, stress relief. NYAHA. damn fun lol. i should play left4dead more often. next gaming session: left4dead with leon and kenneth! :D which i hope is soon. we can rope in dicky but i think he will just scream his head off. :D but it's going to be fun anyways! yay i cant wait. (: so after lan we went to have dinner at ishi mura, the japanese food court at pomo. and after dinner, we all headed home. and here i am blogging about what happened today! :D

ice is leaving tmr. i'll definitely miss her! and i want to send her off tmr but she doesnt want any of us to be there. ): and i didnt hug her today sighs. june. JUNE. she'll be back in june. *crosses fingers* icee! come online often okay! :D i'll miss you...

im going to take off on monday night to go back tj and watch dance. :D YAY~~~ cant wait cant wait. ^^




♥ 123
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
12:03 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPIDEY AND ICE! :D

i've been working for a month now. :D and im glad to say that im not getting bored of my job at all! which is good. :D but still, bad things happen to me whenever i have a job. all my previous workplaces have conned me in one way or another. so i end up having to lose something or end up having to pay for things. SIGH. and in my current case it's no different because i lost part of my uniform and i have to pay a $50 penalty. and it's totally not my fault because i left my hat inside my shoebag with my shoes and socks and i went for my off day happily [31jan, which was cosplay challenge.] and unfortunately after CC i fell sick and didnt go to work for a whole week and when i went back, my shoes and socks are still in my shoebag but my hat is gone. like WTFishball. i swear i put it inside my shoebag damn it. argh. now im pissed just thinking of it. and linlin doesnt believe that i actually placed it inside my shoebag because she thinks im thinking up an excuse for losing my hat. -.- but oh well, cant blame her too. because losing a hat and paying a $50 penalty for it makes many ppl skeptical. so yeah. i guess i'll just have to pay the $50 when i leave the workplace in april or sth. sigh. my money. *cries*

great i think i just gained back the weight i've worked off just now. i did sit ups and stretches when i came back from work today. cos im feeling fat. i ate one full bowl of rice for lunch, one and a half bowls of rice for dinner and one whole big bowl of fried rice and miscellaneous rubbish for supper. freaking great. and not to mention i ate part of phy's brownie tonight again. D: so yes. conclusion: melo is growing fatter by the day as she works in a chinese restaurant. SIGH. i need to lose weight. i want to go jogging/swimming/gym-ing. who wants to go with me tell me haha. :D

im damn freaking tired now so i shall go turn in soon. after i hang up. yeah.




♥ 122
Sunday, February 15, 2009
11:15 PM


cute right?! :D my manager gave it to me today. ((: it's for valentine's day. haha. and it has a message on it behind! it says: 送给小嘉宜，要越长越可爱哦。。。stupid baocheng laughed at me. the stupid guy who insists that i call him kor. which i dont. :D HAHAHA. i never expected my manager to give me a chocolate for v-day. :D hahas~ it's cute anyway. (: and i hope li yan gets well soon! she was not feeling well and switched duties with me today since i was supposed to be working in the water bar. and it's the most slack duty among all duties. lol.

im eating the brownie that phy made. it turned out to be surprisingly nice. hurhur. it's like, bitter chocolate with something in the middle which i dont know what it is. haha. i ate like, 1/4 then put it back into the fridge. meh. i shall eat it slowly. :D

my anime is loading so slowly. sighs. i should sleep soon. im working full day for the next three days. D: going back to tj on friday yay! :D i get to see my darlings again~~~ \o/





♥ 121
2:32 PM

v-day was spent with cedarians and doubutsuen people and with phy. :D it was fun! cedar carnival was damn cool!!! :DDD i saw many of my lovely juniors, who are all sec4 now! yuky, serena, chewan, jerine, shermaine, melanie... and lots more! they are all so old now. haha. but to me, they are still like when they are sec2! watched the dance performance put up by korwoong, nura, xinya, jedi and another girl who looks like dyanna! it was damn nice(: not really contemp in my opinion but then it was good as an attempt! :D you girls better cheoro for next year's concert alright! cos i'll definitely go back and watch. :D and i hope that dicky they all will be doing an alumni item! i would join them if i could. ^^ okay that's besides the point. so yes, cedar carnival. i didnt get to buy the i*heart*cedar badge! ): so sad. cos i spent my money on so many useless stuffs haha. like this balloon apple you see below, and the heart-shaped balloon that kaen wrote junjou romantica on. :D and i bought her this two interlinked heart shape balloon for v-day! played guitar heroes for $3. wasnt really worth it but it's all in the name of helping cedar raise funds. (: damn, if my pay had gotten through i wouldnt mind buying another ticket. which reminds me, i need to transfer the $10 ticket money to shermin! okay yes so then we saw the dunking of mr lim! and i saw mr tan as well! :D and his wife. er, then bought this two felt heart-shaped keychains. gave the pink one to phy lol. [omg phylol. -.-"] then bought a heart-shaped balloon for nowaki! then ya, walked around with kaen most of the time. sorry shermin, aggy, eunice, yanhui, tiffy and minah for pangsehing you all! cause this auntie had no one to go with so i had to accompany her hahaha. :D oh yeah, saw edwin also. he IS a cedarian i swear. and kaen was damn funny with the puzzled look when she saw me talking to edwin and knew that we knew each other. damn damn damn funny. left cedar around 1230 with kaen, and met chuah at the bus stop. she was going to ehub to meet the hc ppl so we took bus 26 together to bedok inter. -END OF CEDAR CARNIVAL ARK- lol.



the cedar carnival brochure, ticket stub, my water balloon apple and jjr balloon. :D




the pretty allen card that kaen gave me! allenwalker is love~



so after that i went to bedok central to meet phy. i was late. duh. helped him to choose flowers. for ash, shinji, mel and spidey. and i was there when he bought me MY bouquet. -.- oh well. better than nothing. haha. it was a pretty bouquet of tulips(: i was dying of hunger since i only ate hashbrown and ice milo for breakfast, so i kept complaining. went to meet shinji and mel at suntec tcc after he was done with the shopping for flowers. oh yes and i met leon goh at the florist outside ntuc! he was conned hahaha. cos the auntie there quoted phy 6 roses for $35 but quoted him 6 roses for $50. HAHAHA. it was damn hilarious please. he bought them anyways cos he looked desperate for flowers for his 'girlfriend' who is apparently some j1. i think i know who. haha. okay so after that went to cityhall. had lunch at the food court at suntec basement. then we went to singapore flyer. we didnt go up. cos apparently some nehneh thought that the tickets wont be fully redeemed yet but when we reach there, the tickets were fully redeemed~ LOL. so we went to some other place which is ulu like hell. shinji thought of the place but didnt want to tell me and mel where it was. so when the cab turned in to thet taxi stand he quickly opened the door to tell the driver our destination before allowing me and mel to board the cab. -.- and the place turned out to be the marina barrage. hahaha. it's so freaking crowded there la! there's nothing to do there, but there are lots of ppl there. it's like ohmygod, what's so nice about being on a damn. -.- but the scenary was nice and the wind made me feel sleepy. thanks phy and shinji for bringing me there. now i dont feel like a swaku singaporean anymore cos i've been to the latest singapore attraction alr. :D then after that went to kallang leisure park to meet spidey and pinkie for dinner. had subway. i wasnt hungry so i didnt eat. i was stoning throughout dinner cos i had nothing to do. lent my psp batt to shinji so i was left with no entertainment. -.- then after that, we all went home. (:


to phyllo dear: thanks for the flowers and brownie and your company for the day(: love you.
to shinji: haha you can think of some really nice places to go to! thanks(:
to mel: melmel! :D thanks for your company as well! ^^
to spidey: hey dont feel so left out of things alright bro. you still got us. (:
to pinkie: some ppl huh, got SO MANY things for vday ah. :DDD




the brownie that i've yet to touch. and dear made it. .__.



my v-day collection of chocolates! (and apples:D)



flowers from phyllo dear(:



my duck got dirtied. ): so i had to wash it with dettol!




♥ 120
Saturday, February 14, 2009
1:57 AM

went to visit tj today! and had lunch with my beloved darlings at 18chefs before that. :D met dyane, claudia, ether, shermaine and zong at around 1.30 for lunch! haha it's been so longggg since i last saw them. i think it was tj open house? omgosh, that's so long ago! it's like, even before the posting results which was before cosplay challenge which was before i was sick which was one week ago. so in conclusion, it's been really long since then. i was happy to see them. (: received a lovely rose from THE guys. :D thanks zong, taufi and das for the rose! love you guys. (:
my pretty rose(:
then after lunch i went back to tj to visit my other darlings! i was scolded by the security guard for wearing the tj pe shirt. i went wtf. hello? it's like MY property and i have the freedom to wear it whenever i want! and it just so happens that i had to wear the tj pe shirt today cos i ran out of white collar-ed shirts already. okay anw, so yeah i went into tj as an official visitor. :D crashed delta and beta's house dialogue, met up with so so so many ppl! sheila, millie, nick, jingwen, korwoong, nura, nevi, cheryl, chewy, ashley, kenneth, leon, dicky, coco, jana, jamie, taufik, zucheng, junie, ashma, weiting, das, michele, jovian, eastina, lynette...and more and more! i just cant remember all the ppl i've seen and talked to today. so sorry! if i left you out please tell me, so i can add your lovely names here. (: crashed road run after that. nth much actually. i missed road run last year, so i got to taste abit of how tj road run is for this year. :D today is a fun day! like seriously. cos seeing all my lovelies again make me forget about everything else. :D i love you guys very much. really, i do. (:




♥ 119
Friday, February 13, 2009
1:34 AM

讲得有点勉强，让伤心再度重返。
她真的不是故意的，她真的不想。
看来错的又是她了。
花，送给了她们。那可怜的她又会收到什么吗？
他没回复。让她很担心他在生她的气。
这些一点一点的担忧，她也不想有它们。
只是，身为女人，这很难免。
她会嫉妒别人，因为别人的他们对她们很好。
他对她的态度比不上他们对她们的态度。
他为她做的事比不上他们为她们所做的事。
有很多很多东西她都不需要。
她只需要一颗真诚的心。
都说了是野草；它不被很多事拘束。
但是太阳只希望野草能健康地成长。
它只希望野草能够爱回它。

花对我很重要！我很喜欢花。它是每个舞者的最爱。当然也是我的最爱。所以，如果能够收到花，我会很高兴。^^ 我并不会强迫你买花，因为那样子的话跟我买给自己没什么两样。所以，如果你真的不想买的话，就不买算了。我也懒得跟你计较。你要买给谁你就去买吧。没有花，我一样能过活。因为，我对自己有信心。少了一点开心，比少了你好。

“路边的野花，你不要睬。”
-改编至某某歌星所唱的一首歌。很久以前的。




♥ 118
Thursday, February 12, 2009
1:20 AM

today we were talking about dreams and ambitions at the meeting before we start work. my manager asked me what was my dream. and i told her that i dont have one. well, it could be that i have one. just that i dont want to say it out. but at that point of time, nothing came to my mind, so i said nothing. it's truly sad that i dont have a dream to work towards. well if i had to say one, and i mean those really extreme situations where im forced to give an answer, i would say a proffesional dancer. but in singapore... it's hard to get there without ballet background. and sad to say, i dont. so yes, it's pretty impossible. and if we're talking about ambitions, neither do i have one. because my ambition to be a doctor has been blown to bits the moment i applied for a dropout from tj. smart arent i. so yes, im a hopeless lump of thing that survives on goals that are short-termed and easy to reach. because i am not one who can deal with disappointments. that applies to everything around me. yes.

gah. im depressed. damn. dont ask me why if you dont want to die.

kaen can you just go to cedar carnival on saturdayyyy ohmygosh. i want to seeeee youuuuuu. D<




♥ 117
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
11:22 PM

yes, it's been effective. so im feeling much better now although i still think about some stuff at times... but oh well. better than nothing at least. i guess. okay i dont know. i shant say im really satisfied with the answers given because im not, but i cant do anything about them can i? so i shall just be satisfied with what i have now. the only thing that really pisses me off and upsets me all over again when i give thoughts to it is the on/off thing only. yeah.

okay i shall stop it with the negativeness. just here to tell you guys that im not dead yet. and i am so looking forward to saturday. :DDD it's going to be the first time im NOT spending vday with girls. HAHAHA. :D i mean, yes okay, im going back for the cedar carnival but what i mean is i wont be spending my whole vday with my girlfriends only. :D i know this is a spastic thing to be happy about but im a spastic person. HEHE. :D i just hope casio doesnt screw me up. like seriously.

oh oh. the code geass photoshoot link is HERE: http://sgcafe.com/showthread.php?t=59802 :D go see the pictures! *hearts* please ignore the vulgar picture thank you very much. and im using one of the pictures as my handphone wallpaper. :D guess which one! you wont get a prize even if you guessed it correctly though hahaha. 8D i shall post the omake pics here another time since my mum is pushing me off the computer... sighs. tmr and the day after is a full day at work. *sighs* i shall look forward to friday since im most prob gonna find my darlings at tj! :D and of course not missing out nura and the dance ppl if possible. ^^

k i shall stop spamming. useless stuff i mean. yeah. please ignore all my previous posts. im too lazy to delete them away. but yeah. dont go read them on purpose. please. thanks. take care everyone. (: i shall go bathe and er, talk on the phone? or sleep. depending on someone... yeah. goodnight.




♥ 116
Monday, February 9, 2009
3:09 PM

again, a ridiculous post. maybe after a few days as i look back i'll realise how stupid i am. and delete all these posts. but right now i need some comfort which i feel only blogging will give. or that i will feel relieved, albeit a little, just by blogging and thrashing things out here. i dont know if he'll read this or not, or if he will even bother after reading this. afterall i think im the only one thinking about all this and being paranoid. but i seriously cant help it. if i could choose how i can be, i would choose to be able not to think about all this and lead a happy life with you and like you. but just that im a girl, im troublesome, that's why im thinking about all this.

why is it that you dont talk to me unless i talk to you? i know this is stupid. because you would talk to me if you wanted to. but when you dont talk to me on your own initiative, it gives me the feeling that you dont care anymore. not that i dont understand how you feel. but it's precisely because you never told me why, that's why i cant be understanding about it.

why is it that you always eh me when we're out with the others? i know it's another stupid question. but dont you ever realise that you only call me darling when you need me? when you need me to do things for you? and the other times you just go by 'eh' and 'melo'. do you know how i feel? it's like, my boyfriend only whines to me when im needed to help him do something. and other times i get pushed away or distanced by him addressing me as 'eh' simply cos he doesnt need me to do things for him. or that he doesnt want sth from me. again. it's not me not being understanding, or that i cant accept you for who you are. it's just a matter of principles. and the way you treat me. i am not your servant. i am your girlfriend you know.

sometimes i feel like im the only one giving it my best in the relationship. even though you said you'd work hard, i never really saw anything. except when i was sick. how sad. i only get to feel the love when im sick. if that's so i'd rather be sick for all eternity. i dont need big things or material items to make me happy. small things like what you put my name as in your phonebook can show me how you are taking all this. to you i might just be 'melo cosplay' and nothing more right? but to me you are my dearest with a smiley face. because everytime my phone rings and i see a message from you, even if it's just one word, it makes me happy. but to you, i dont know. because what i see is nth more than an address for a common friend. i know you dont like to message. but it hurts me when i dont hear a single word from you for a whole damn day. not even a hello, or okay. you could call. but you dont. you just wait for me to talk to you.

i know all these are small small problems which i shouldnt even be thinking about. but if i dont get it off my chest it's going to be there forever. as to why im not telling you this directly because im doing things like how you always do, the indirect approach. i know i should be understanding about all these and accept you for who you are. but i just really wanted to hear the answers. if you have the answers please tell me? so that i can improve myself to be a better girlfriend to you? so that i know what you feel? so that i can be understanding about them? i really... just needed you to know how i've been feeling. because these things often hurt me so much that i could cry a river.




♥ 115
2:03 AM

i know the frequency of my posting is a bit high now but if i dont let it out now i wont have the chance anymore! since im going back to work tmr and i'll probably be some tired lump at the end of the day.

i wanna thank spidey for always being there for me to talk to. i know i was being damn vulgar and not my usual self. sorry. and thanks. i love my brother(: [you. not the real-life annoying brat.]

went blog hopping just now. read alot of stuff. and found that some are truly agreeable. like why "im crying when it's only stuff related to you". and "i cant uphold all my promises because you are not doing your share too." and "your expectations are too *bleep*ing high that i cant even reach if i tiptoed." sorry to those whom i quoted. but i didnt say who so your identities shall forever remain a secret. (:

i want to find a big big hole now and scream my head off into it. and no one shall ever hear of it. i want to let off the steam stuck within me RIGHT NOW but i cant because it's in the middle of the night and everyone's asleep except for my mum who's ironing behind me. i want to take a rose and do the 'he loves me, he loves me not' thing. i dont want to go back to work tmr because im in a foul mood. i want to punch people. or things. i want to bite someone. i want to strangle him. i want to kick some balls. i want to let off the steam trapped within me. i hate myself for all this. it's like im ever the only one affected. and causing trouble. yes im a troublesome ass. and so are you. an asshole.

i think im going crazy at this rate if i still dont find an outlet to relieve myself because blogging doesnt seem to be working and the crux of the problem has become unavailable from cyber reaches. i want to scold the F word out loud and into _____'s face. i really want to. but i shant. im a NICE and UNDERSTANDING person. im MATURE. [yeah, fuck right. that's what you think.]

melo needs a time out.




♥ 114
12:52 AM

went over to ayano darling's blog just now to return a hug and realised i got tagged to do some quiz. zzz. but since i know that at least while doing the quiz darling thought of me, so i shall also put in some effort to complete it...

who's the last person you hugged?
pinkie.

do you love anyone?
duh. myself included.

favourite food?
jap food.

favourite drink?
green tea.

do you have a boyfriend?
fuck why this question at this time. but yes.

do you currently like anyone?
if i said i have a boyfriend already then this question is useless.

who is your best friend?
anyone and everyone. i dont have a particular bestie to rant about everything to. it's all in bits and pieces. sad right.

how many friends do you have in total?
that's impossible to count.

tag 8 people to do this survey/quiz/whatever you want to call it:
yanhui
shermin
claudia
dyane
kei
risa mummy
kaen
lauren




♥ 113
Sunday, February 8, 2009
10:28 PM

i know. i suck at crossing roads. so much that i need someone beside me to grab on to. i know im like some baby because of that, always needing the attention and being so troublesome and stuff, and im sorry. i know crying was a stupid thing to do but i cant help it. it was scary. really. nevermind if you dont understand. all i really needed was a hug. really badly. and didnt get one from the person i wanted it from most. but anyone's fine. i just needed some reassurance. but you didnt understand at all. did you?

spidey always knows when im feeling down. thanks alot. i really needed to release it all out. maybe im just suffering from major mood swings. but im glad you were there. as a friend. who really understood. and listened.

sometimes i feel it. the switch that you turned on has turned off. it makes me wonder if all those promises are going to hold through again. and before i know it they just flow out of my eyes. i really dont want a repeat. it's not going to be that easy again. because i know when it happens im only a few steps from jumping down. and ending it all. really.

i know im being an emo loser right now. so my post is very emo. but i cant help things. im really really very upset right now that i can cry any moment. really. i just need this person to come and talk to me and everything will be fine. but this person in question is not doing anything. depression is sinking in. f**k.




♥ 112
1:25 AM

code geass photoshoot was so much fun today! :D even though i was just some saikang personnel but nevertheless it was still super fun. ^^ took alot of random omake shots using phyllo dear's gay pink camera but i havent got them yet. :/ cosplayers today: mao as lancelot, ice as C.C, mel as gothic C.C, phyllo as gino, seph as bismarck, pinkie as anya [NYA~]/chibi gino, rina as clovis/C.C and shinji as lelouch/zero. :D sigh. kei couldnt join us today so yeah. went to singapore flyer to have our photoshoot! nice place really. not really alot of ppl and plenty of space! it's the garden area above the carpark. hahas. since i dont have photos except for one super lovely one, i shall upload that one and the rest tmr. (: and this picture is me and ice! with her in the clovis wig. cho bishie!!! super surprising. ice is actually damn bishie also! and actually pinkie ashley turned out to be really bishie doing chibi gino also. and so doubutsuen has three bishie girls! hurhurhur.
iceee is SO BISHIE. *heart melts* HAHAHA.
i look like crap so ignore. D: k i dunno what to spam alr. shall get ready to sleep soon. dissidia meeting tmr hahas. and i dont wanna go work so i shall not go back tmr. but on monday instead. i know i need the money but im still coughing really badly, and i dont want to cough into a customer's food. hurhur.
kk im gonna stop spamming alr. long live doubutsuen. hurhur. fun stuff. <3




♥ 111
Friday, February 6, 2009
11:47 PM

i've been watching animes for the whole day today. haha. caught up with alot of series. :D and im super happy wahahaha. :DDD caught up with to-aru majutsu no index, finishing akane-iro ni somaru saka, waiting for new episodes for kuroshitsuji, chrome shelled regios and bleach. although i feel like it's an accomplishment i cant help but feel rather down. cos i havent been working for one whole damn week and im not getting any pay for this one whole week. sigh. i need the money. for 10000 things that i shant mention. cos the list will be too long. hur. depressing shit. i need to set aside $600 for my course fees. rawr. and approximately $800 for cosfest + EOY. great. but not that im complaining if it's for cosplay. :D it's just that course fees... arent really my area of concern isnt it. but oh well. since i lead such a hectic and complicated life i shant complain too much. i just hope by the end of my two months plus of work i can save up the amount i targetted. $1400. SIGH. and i've been sick this whole week somemore. die la. my money... sian.

i've been stuck at home for one whole week already! i feel like an otaku in and out. but tmr, FINALLY, i get to go out! yay~~~ because tmr is doubutsuen's code geass photoshoot! but our suzaku cant make it. ): sighs. at least the GINO finally is gonna cosplay. my god gino's new wig is so damn difficult to tie can. it's like, dry and longggg and tangling. not like the old wig. so smooth and nice and easy to tie. but i still managed to get the pleats done so dont worry. yay im getting high hahaha-- *coughcoughcough* im not high cos cough syrup mind you. that substance is so gross. and disgusting. eeew. everytime i drink it i end up feeling nauseous. it just makes me wanna puke. bleh. k enough of medicine. it just reminds me of more disgusting stuff like antibiotics syrup i used to take alot when i was a kid. the horror. D:

i think i should go prepare for tmr's shoot now. so guess i'll be leaving this post here. need to pack dear gino's wig, makeup and uh. nth else. :D shall bring as little things as possible since im going there to saikang and not play around. lancelot is going but suzaku is not. sigh... why is mj orientation taking up saturday as well!!!! D<




♥ 110
Thursday, February 5, 2009
1:44 AM

haha this is so refreshing. changed my blogskin and also added a really nice tune to my blog. (: haha sorry this song cant be paused cos i didnt embed it somewhere where you can like stop it. cos of the codes and stuff. i hate html. so i hid it behind the blogskin. :D it's a very soothing song and i like it so much! it's from the anime BLEACH. ((: the new ending song. :D as im typing this im putting the song on repeat on windows media player. hehe. it's damn damn damn nice! *hearts* hmmm. the song name's called sky chord ~otona ni naru kimi he~ by tsuji shion.

___________________

素直な歌が歌えない
飾り付けてしまうから
いつからこんなに楽に自分
守ることを覚えたの？

行かない sky chord
昔ならあったのに yeah yeah
失くした sky chord
誰のせいでもなく 自分

きっと大人になることなんかより
大切なものがあるの
きっとそれを見つけらんないまま
大人になってゆくんだ

ずっとこのままじゃいれないって
分かってるよ
歩き出せ
_______________________

Sunao na uta ga utaenai
Kazaritsuketeshimau kara
Itsukara konna ni raku ni jibun
Mamoru koto wo oboeta no

Ikanai sky chord
Mukashi nara atta no ni yeah yeah
Nakushita sky chord
Dare no sei demo naku jibun

Kitto otona ni naru koto nanka yori
Taisetsu na mono ga aru no
Kitto sore wo mitsukerannai mama
Otona ni natteyukunda

Zutto kono mama jya irenai tte
Wakatteru yo
Arukidase
___________________________

I can't sing a song with a honest lyrics
because I always end up sugar coating the words
When someone as laid-back as me
realize he had something worth protecting?

Don't leave me, Sky Chord
You would've stayed here back then, yeah yeah...
I've lost you, Sky Chord
It's not anyone's fault, but...

I know there are things more important to me
than becoming an adult.
But I'll be growing up the whole time
I'm trying to figure out what they are.

You say we can't stay like this forever?
I know.. so let's take that first step.
______________________

i feel blessed. truly. even though there are ups and downs. as long as i know of one thing, i can continue living. a quote from Kamijyou Hiroki: "I think i can live up to a hundred-and-fifty with these~" :D [yes, that's you kaen. HAHAHAHAHA.*evil smirks*]

i dont know if it's this song or what but my fever is going down! :D just by listening to it really. it's just one of those songs that you can put on repeat mode and not get bored of even after a few hours later. :D i hope i can fully recover by tmr evening so i can go crash suntec mass dance! i really really really want to see dyane, ether, shermaine and mehmeh claudia! and of course visit nura and see how she's doing in TJ. sigh~ get well soon melo! so that you can go back and work and earn what you need to! and go for the photoshoot on saturday! and perhaps that movie thingy on friday. [if you manage to escape work hahaha.] gamabatte ne, jibun. :D




♥ 109
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
12:11 AM

okay, im feeling much better now.




♥ 108
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
10:37 PM

this is the second post of the day hurhurhur and the reason why im blogging for the second time today is because im feeling irritable again. i know i just told yh that im feeling okay alr with all the *bleep*ing just now but then the feeling of annoyance at some person/ppl/unidentified object just came back to me again. RAWR. what's wrong with me seriously. i think it's hormonal imbalance. or whatsoever. i cant say that i cant be bothered with this feeling of mine because im thinking of it every second. zzz. i feel that some person/ppl/unidentified object cant be bothered whether im alive or dead. why? cos some person/ppl/unidentified object has never asked me how im feeling and all. and i doubt that some person/ppl/unidentified object knows my current condition. of me being a half-dead mehmeh sitting at home rotting and worrying and thinking about one million useless things. okay it's definitely the work of the hormones i know. but i cant help but feel this way. whatever it is, i just want him/her/it/them to know how i feel and show concern, that's all. is that too much to ask for? i dont know myself either. i just... yeah. i want to see that he cares. that's all im asking for.




♥ 107
4:16 PM

argh. why cant you understand simple english you big-headed moron. it says that you cant bathe her two *bleep*ing days before and after the treatment so which *bleep*ing part do you not *bleep*ing understand?! and it doesnt last for two *bleep*ing months. that's for fleas you loser! and it doesnt 'last' for that long. it's just the treatment period you ass. READ THE INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY YOU PIECE OF *bleep*. before you go around throwing tantrums and i see objects flying towards me. now *bleep* off and go play your darn computer.

*bleep* im super irritable now. not only cos of the above-mentioned idiot. but because of some ppl who dont even seem to care about how i am. i've been having on off fever since saturday night, terrible running nose since yesterday morning, cough since last week and a sore throat that just wont cure itself for god-knows-how-long. i missed my *bleep*ing double pay day on sunday, and have been unable to work for the past two days as well. and i didnt go work today, and i have an MC for tmr. GREATTT isnt it? my pay is just going down the drain like this. awesome. i need the *bleep*ing money for so many *bleep*ing things. so many that im so *bleep*ing pissed off about it. not that im complaining about working to pay for my costumes for cosplay. it's just the other things that i have to pay for that are not even in my field of concern! *bleep* and you still *bleep*ing dared to agree with that vp about 'no need to worry about financial concerns, just choose what you think is best for yourself.' and what happens after that? i have to earn and pay for my *bleep*ing school fees! WTF seriously. dont agree with other ppl and make me look like im such a shame when what you're agreeing with isnt gonna come true at all you *bleep*tard. and i spent $43 at the clinic. are you going to pay me back? NO. NO. i will never ever dream of you paying me back the *bleep*ing money. and my *bleep*ing pay is on hold cos of the *bleep*ing accountant who's so *bleep*ing cock-eyed that he *bleep*ing counted $100+++ less for my *bleep*ing pay. *bleep* you chris. *bleep*

i would gladly type out the word f**k but that'll just make my blog look very vulgar and i know some of my friends dont like to see that word. so i shall not. even though i cant *bleep*ing wait to use that word on that *bleep*tard who messed up my paycheck.

AAAAHHHHHHHH. i got 10000 things on my to-do list and here i am ranting about stuff. *bleep* not to mention that im sick and 9900 things cant be done cos of that. *bleep* i need time off from work. when im in a perfectly healthy condition that is. so that i can *bleep*ing do my 10000 things. *bleepbleepbleepbleepbleep* AAAHHHHHHHHH.

i cant wait for the 14th to come.