♥ 177
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
10:43 AM
Just because I find the need to keyboard smash, I am here. because i know nobody fucking reads this thing so i can say as much shit i want here. and this is just for venting purposes so if you happen to be reading this right now, i would appreciate that you close this tab/ window and leave tyvm.
okay, fuck you internship. fuck you srsly. you told me i was gonna get my pay on 25th may and now you tell me im only gonna get it on 15th june. OKAY, BEAST FANMEET TICKETS ASIDE. you think i dont have other things to pay for is it? huh? just because you live a good life sitting in that high chair of yours earning idk how many thousands per month, doesnt mean that interns like us live a good life too. you may be a good parent and all but hello, not every family lives a fuwa life like yours. I FUCKING EARN MY OWN KEEP. i fucking gave up working at CK because of internship. at first i thought, nvm, internship still got $500 every month, can get by one. and dont even get me started on fucking bullshit why i cant work part-time on weekends. it's not that i dont want. CK schedules are filled to the max on wkends and even if i wanted to, i dont get the chance. i've been working at CK for wkdays for dunno how long since sem 2.2 so you dont come and fucking give me any bullshit about part-time jobs and what not. and dont even expect me to take from my parents because i know they cant afford, which is why i worked part-time in the first fucking place.
so now i basically have close to $0 in my account and you expect me to survive another 2 weeks. MY BEAST FANMEET TICKETS HOW. yes i am that superficial. I CARE ONLY FOR MYSELF AND MY BEAST TICKETS. bite me. take your own fucking money and give it to me i dont curr i just want the money asap so i can pay for my BEAST fm tickets fucker. okay im too angry to continue the whole story i'll rage later.
FUCKING CHEEBYE IM SEEING HIM LATER HE'S GONNA GET IT FROM ME.
♥ 176
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
3:28 AM
srsly, im like | | close to exploding already. maybe i have already developed schizophrenia but just that i dont know? lol. turning into macbeth maybe. 8'D okay not funny.
so yes, i had a twitter rage just now. im sorry for those followers, but you know. twitter is a free place. just unfollow if you dont want to listen to my nonsensical rants/rage/kpopstanning. i mean, not that i forced you to follow me right. 8D not gonna repeat my twitter rage here but im just feeling a little down and out that's all.
how does it feel like to be a kpop idol seriously? if i could just live it once; i think i would die happy. too bad i cant sing though. i can only dance. /sad life OKAY ACTUALLY IF I COULD EVEN GET AS CLOSE AS JOINING PREPIX OR YG OR CUBE AS BACKUP DANCER I WOULD DIE HAPPY. anything just so i can get out of this insane shithole to keep my sanity together. (=_=;) everyone in this place is insane. heck maybe me too. but at least now i feel like im sane. so excluding me for now. idk just, let me get the fuck out of hereeeeeee. ugh.
♥ 175
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
11:51 PM
hay thar. im here to rant again. OOOH WHEE~
so life sucks. what's new? i mean, not that i give a shit anymore. im just gonna be the laid back character in my school life from now on. Cs and Ds are fine as long as you give me my cert. who the hell cares about DHL and shit like that? you want my awesome gpa? go on, take it. if you think you can live up to it go ahead. i've never been the sort to aim high and score high anyway. this was all pure coincidence when i was in year 1 okay. I DO NOT WANT THIS. so get the idea you freaks. im not like those who work their asses off just to be up there. for one thing, i dont give a shit about studies. for another, let's just say my brain is too intelligent that i dont need to do shit like that to get to second place yeah?
SO YEAH FUCK THIS SHIT, the presentation for MICE imma just gonna fuck it and not do it. 10% giveaway? yeah i did that when i was in 1.2 for marketing when i forgot to do that bloody peer evaluation. back then it caused me much heartache cos i lost my A thanks to that, but now? HAHA I DONT EVEN FUCKING BOTHER ABOUT As AND SHIT LIKE THAT. so why do i even care so much. if eventually i can get my cert, im willing to even go to year 4 just for that shit. repeat whatever shit i've done this sem. yeah sure fine. different classmates? oh well not like my current classmates treat me like i exist, so what's new? im just gonna be this antisocial kid emo-ing. whatever. seriously.
yeah life, troll me all you want. so you think you got rid of the family problems part for now you can troll me more for school and shit like that right? well let me tell you this. i dont fucking give a damn anymore. as long as i graduate with something higher than 2.0 means i will get my paper. i have a whole 1.55 worth of gpa for you to deduct if you want. GO AHEAD. shit this fuck. pfft.
im gonna be honest and everything. because right now, all i wanna do is to just work and earn money and save. and repay all the debts im owing. this goddamned amount i dont even know where it came from. ugh. and more than half of it is not even mine to begin with! grrr. i wanna earn money now and save for the year-end leisure trip to korea with friends! im really looking forward to it. :/ i feel like marking it on my calender but my SHINee calender is to precious to be drawn on... *stares at onew* dubu im not gonna do anything la stop staring back at me. /delusional yeah so that's what i feel like doing. apparently if i work + study, i've calculated. i cant even earn half the shit i want to save. so imma just gonna fuck school and work whenever i dont have scheduled classes! i dont care about anything else already. assignments and shit are gonna be over soon \o/ internship... ugh. if i dont get a response from launch imma just gonna crawl into a hole and die 10 times over. yeah.
and i think the SSM peer evaluation is a joke. i dont even go for classes. i bet my evaluation will be 0. HAHAHA. oh well.
in short, life sucks. kthxbai.
♥ 174
Sunday, October 3, 2010
1:09 AM
OKAY I ASSUME THAT NOBODY VISITS THIS BLOG ANW. SO IM JUST GONNA RELEASE ALL MY FUSTRATIONS. RHRN. FUCK OFF IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ SOME FUCKED UP BLOGPOST THANKS. :D
firstly. i dont give a fuck about this whole rental thing anymore. you fuck up the house rental and now we kids have to suffer. what kind of adults are you seriously. damn fucked up. i just settle nicely into the environment, just got my study table, my own space, my own wall space for posters, my comfortable life. then this screwed up rental thing have to come along. bloody fucker of a landlord you nabeicheebye fuckyou godie. i hope you are haunted by 10,000 child ghosts because srsly, you making my life a miserable mess is not a very funny thing here. fucker. and hello auntie use your brain pls. how can 10 ppl fucking squeeze into a bloody 3 room flat. we have 4 study tables, 1 dining table, 1 sofa set, racks, and a whole lot of other rubbish. you think we can fit all these into a ALREADY-FURNISHED 3-room flat that alr has 4 ppl living in it? USE YOUR ASS AND THINK ALSO CANNOT RIGHT. ugh. sometimes i dont even know how stupid you adults can be. fuck this.
then comes the second problem. if you see pee on the kitchen floor cant you just use water to rinse away wtf the bloody toilet like only 5 steps away you have to ask your niece who is in the living room to do it. knn i know it's my dog but come on we live in the same house cant you just help abit also. i know you got your own problems but i got mine also right? nb. like you think whole world only you stress like that. if my tolerance is low i also go imh alr lor. fuck. and you two stupid cousins idekwts about you two bloody bimbos. when got money, spend like fuck. then when got problem, try to act politically correct. bloody hypocrite. i feel like slapping your dumbass bimbo faces. fucking idiots. and i stan my kpop is none of your bloody business you go stan your weird shit sai i also nv complain. nabei la what kind of fucked up situation am i living in.
okay i know im not living in the worst of conditions but fuck this seriously. just when my life picks up a little things have to take a downturn. as if my exam results isnt a depressing enough issue. fuck. then got this house rental thing. i bloody hell dont want to move back to grandma's house la. she one old lady alr so sad need to support that useless uncle liao then we need to go squeeze with her in her 3-room flat and make her suffer more. you all dont use your peabrain one leh. and you bloody use your lifetime savings and dump into a stupid bloody fucked up business which i told you NOT to do, just cos i have better foresights compared to you. now you lose all your money, is in a fucked up pennyless situation, and now we are going to homeless soon. how cool is that. you bloody retard.
and im like fucking hungry now i want to cook noodles also cannot cos the bloody kitchen light is blown and nobody wants to fucking change it. fuck fuck fuck. mum is out with useless boyfriend and auntie is in the room with her useless boyfriend. WHAT'S WITH YOU GROWN UP WOMEN AND USELESS BOYFRIENDS. SERIOUSLY. DUMP THEM ALREADY. OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES LA. USELESS MEN = THOSE WHO CANNOT GIVE YOU FINANCIAL SUPPORT AND FUCK YOUR LIVES UP EVEN MORE BY ADDING ONTO YOUR EMOTIONAL STRESS, GEDDIT?! FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP YOU WITH THE FINANCE AND YOUR EMOTIONS CAN. YOU TWO STUPID SISTERS. UGHHHH IDEKWTS ANYMORE.
and as if family problems are not enough to add on to the bloody fire, cosplay has to come in to the picture. i mean seriously, i can compromise but it has a bloody fucking limit. if you dont like what i suggest, then suggest something better. dont just say it sounds ok but very kpop-ish. yes i know it's very pro kpop because that's the only thing im interested in now and going according to what you want, which is a video, that is the plot i can think of. but then. you said it sounds ok only. so i ask you again. what you want. and you dont have any idea how you want it to go. srsly fuck this. why am i even in this fucked up cosplay competition when it's stressing me out so much. i rly want to quit you know. and put 100% effort into the kpop dance one instead. because. i think it srsly gives me more satisfaction than being stuck with some whiny person who keeps saying cannot dance cannot sing. ok i know you cannot dance cannot sing. then what can you do? tell me la! then at least we can plan sth tgt right? then i ask you what you want to do. all you say is you dunno. how fucked up can this be. we only have 5 wks you know. need to sew costumes and rehearse one you know. we need to get approval also you know. CAN WE JUST FUCKING DECIDE WHAT WE ARE GONNA DO?! BLOODY FUCK. if you dont like my plot srsly, can you either give me a better one or something. ugh.
okay now ranting to someone else is not really helping either. because he doesnt fully uds the situation. and im tired. from explaining. i cant get anyone to agree with me. so fuck this. rly. FUCK. THIS. ALREADY. I 90% WANT TO DROP OUT OF THE COSPLAY COMPETITION ALREADY.
ugh. hungry. and tired. and irritated. is not helping. im going to just. sign out of skype and twitter soon. and just. read fanfics on my iphone til i slp la. fuck.
♥ 173
Thursday, July 29, 2010
4:38 PM
uh... i know i mentioned that i will upload streetfest pics the last time i was here but i didnt do so. D8 okay anyway nobody reads this blog so it kind of like just died. but since nobody comes here, i thought it would be a good opportunity if i used this platform to say things that i couldnt mention on twitter or anything. lots of things have been on the top of my mind, some happy some not. but ah well. just ranting it out will make me better i hope. i have a feeling that the only person who may come across this will be raynor lol. best buddy if you read this, msn me afterwards lol. :D
alright so since when did i become such a big SHINee fan? okay first things first. i wasn't in to k-pop until recently, like start this year/end of last year. so i've missed out a lot of things when i wasn't into the k-fever yet. the times of dbsk, suju and wondergirls are times when im not totally into this whole fad yet. when i really got into this whole thing, 2AM became my first love. then with the release of SHINee's latest album, Lucifer, i fell more in love with them. primary reason - taemin's long hair. i think some ppl do know that i have this crazy fetish for guys with long hair. but sadly not everyone knows. ahh whatever. anw, i really admire taemin's long hair, and i do love the songs in the album as well. so question is, is it really wrong for me to only love them because of their new album? for me, i dont see what's wrong with it in the first place. so stop questioning me since when i became their fan. im not jumping on to the bandwagon or anything just for your information. not because they're like the most crazy and hot topic around for now. it's because i genuinely like taemin (and his hair), because he just reminds me of myself sometimes (being childish and naive etc). i really want to dance like him as well, he's my next dance god after jo kwon lol. :D but as much as i love SHINee now, i still have 2AM in my heart. so ppl, dont question me if i jumped over to SHINee or what. NO. I STILL LOVE MY 2AM. and i am still super sad i couldnt go the fanmeet on tgx day 1. but i still bought the album nonetheless! so it shows im a true fan right? pfft. im gonna buy SHINee's albums too to show support okay. i will buy both type a and b alright. so ppl please stop coming and ask me why im suddenly into SHINee. it annoys me.
secondly, i want to wish don a happy birthday here, although i think he wont ever come across this lol. and yeah, wanted to have a celebratory dinner of some sort tonight. so i asked my mum if we are gonna have dinner. and nooooo, they are gonna have dinner tgt with my mum's "boyfriend" and i wasnt invited. not that im sulking, cos i think if i see him face to face, the first thing i'd do is kick him in the nuts or give him a tight slap or flip a table at him (for real, im not kidding. ppl who know me well, you should know i have a temper and DONT MESS WITH ME.) but hello? my brother's birthday dinner and i dont get invited, and he gets? what kind of fucking reality is this man. he's has always been an asshole, and everyone sees it. but nooooo. blinded by love. or so she calls it. that fucker's an obvious shit and fucktard wth. i would sue him if i had the opportunity. i would get a gang to beat him up if i had a gang. im dead serious. if i were the leader of DOLLARS he'd be dead by now. fucking asshole. ANGRYYYYY.
and then comes school. i think i mentioned this so many times on twitter that everyone's sick of this. but hey, you dont understand me you shut up. you dont want to see my tweets dont follow. get it? this is the first time (after jc that is) that i felt that school really sucked so much that my absences just keep increasing. hey, not that im doing it on purpose. does anyone have any fucking idea how fucking stressed i get with school? nah, i dont think anyone can come close to feeling how i felt. having a useless group mate in every single project is one thing. lousy classmates another. retarded school location is the third. what more to make school more sucky? at those points in life i looked forward to nothing else but cosplay and events and weekends together with the great ppl. even cheer was a drag (which led to my disappearance shortly after school term started for the sem). even jc wasnt as bad because i had great classmates and friends who understood me, and dance was the next thing that took things off my mind. but i genuinely hated jc for its system, its teachings and its regulations. it's fucked up. that's why im enjoying poly, which im not so much enjoying for sem 2.1 thanks to TAS and a whole lot of other rubbish. cant wait to get over this semester. although i think my gpa's gonna spiral down like shit, you think i care anymore? im not under any fucking scholarships, im working to earn my own keep. who needs all those things to my name? DHL, STB scholar candidate... whatever. you guys are the ones who have come up with this image of me being 'angelic', 'innocent' and whatever else you've thought me to be. sorry, i am not that kind of person you guys think me to be. im evil, and im like a gangster, so dont mess with me. you want to play punk with me, you'd end up like that certain girl on facebook. if you're all talk no action (NATO), then fuck off. im not interested in ppl who can only say alot behind ppl's back but not right in the face. useless. grrr. thinking about it makes my head hurt. lots of shit at sentosa, and im not missing anything there.
exams are coming up but there's yog to deal with. i dont think i'd fail or need to take supp paper. but this sem, since it's already screwed, im just gonna do whatever i think i can, and just pass it. heck with 3.88 or whatever. heck it. projects, screw you. exams, im gonna eat you up. all these subjects, you're gonna die and fuck off from my life okay. dont mess with me and put me in a nightmare anymore. i dont want any title to my name, i dont want any high gpa that's so difficult to keep. if life's just screwing with my results then so be it. i dont believe i cant do anything without good results. pfft.
it has been a long long post so far. but nope, im not stopping yet. if you're tired just close this window. im not begging you to read it. im just ranting that's all. listening to k-pop calms me down in a sense i guess. oh well. i still love anime dont worry. hakuouki and vocaloid, i'll be back with you guys soon! but for now it's Lucifer and Up&Down and nothing else yeah. ^^
gahh. let's move on to more happy things. cosplay! yay. for the past month, it's seriously been a hell hectic. but hey, i didnt neglect my projects or anything amidst all this. so dont go around accusing me for not doing my work or i'll seriously slap your face. there was cosfest, tgx and the ph shoot. cosfest was fun cos we had a weekend chalet, which was seriously damn enjoyable and fun. :D lots of epic things happened and well, yeah. everyone was cool. (: tgx was a mad rush! thanks to ilr project plz. but im not gonna mention about sch anymore. it was fun! day 1 ph paired up with almighty jesuke. really could feel the kira-ness and shiawase-ness to be having her as a partner. taemin i love you yeah. (: day 2 back with my lenny, with awesome okita and heisuke transformed into GIRLS. pretty and epic. gahhh. *rin gives loves to all* man, tgx sure was epic. not to mention awesome cosplay photog well-known on an international basis, SHIROIN was in town! enjoyed super epic moments with him, and all's worth. :D ph shoot was full of crack i swear. and im gonna get my head cropped off. ahh well. taemin~~~ im so glad you were my vincent. and i fail as your servant. i will uh, serve you better when i sk for your casual shoot. *raises eyebrows* now it's just epic planning for the rest of this year. planning for 2nd cf trip! and gonna take part in that teenage competition AND IM GONNA WIN IT. i want to do kpop twinnie. ): since im cosing girl i want to dance to miss a's bad girl good girl plz. ahh. crack be win! if we incorporated crack with serious stuff i think we'd stand a good chance, dont you think? ahhh. more tbc when the judging criteria is confirmed i guess. lol. planned for events like afa and stuff as well, photoshoots are piling up (i have no idea where my money's gonna come from), and lots of tentative rubbish plans that keep popping up GOSH. seriously need a proper diary to keep track of all these. AISH. but i guess that's all for cosplay so far. taking a break for sewing and shooting and whatnot for now, need proper planning and time management and work in order to supplement this lovely hobby of mine. im thankful for all the friends i made through this hobby. i love every single one of you. (:
oh yeah and im still with darling in case anyone's wondering. lol. just cause you dont hear about us doesnt mean we dont exist already lol. just that we're all busy with our own stuff, and we dont get much time together... but we are still in love. ^^ just hope we have more time... and more money... i want to go on epic shopping with darling soon. i want to buy stuff... i want to shop... i want to dress up to go out. D: i never ever put make up unless it's cosplay. i never do bother to dress nicely unless someone asks me to. i think i should start to put more effort in dressing up i guess. lol.
ahhh. it's been so long since i typed the first sentence. i think you must be falling asleep as well. if you ever reached this part, good for you! otsukare~~ but i dont think so lol. just mindless rants blah blah blah. i need to go do my fem reflection paper which is 20% weightage and it's due tmr. \o/ im awesome arent i. and i barely started on it whee~ im awesome. seirously man. haha. ahhh fuck those things lah. if i cant do well then i also heck care. lol. maybe the reason why i left it til this last minute is cos i dont really care anymore? yeah. i dont really care anymore. okay. so fuck it. fuck you school. *notimpressedplz* im gonna do abit of work and toggle between SHINee and school byebye people if you ever existed.
♥ 172
Thursday, June 24, 2010
11:34 PM
been ages since i've been here, but feel the need to publicise some stuff. \o/
mummy bought me a new earpiece! *hearts* and it's super pretty, didnt expect her to get something like this for me. :D bye to sonicgear, hi to audiotechnica! ^^ expensive stuff, i would be happy with just the same old sonicgear model though. but who minds something more exquisite? although i feel sad i broke my streak of using the same model of earpiece. because my previous two earpieces are both sonicgear, same model and same colour! haha. :D but anyway these are pretty, so hope they'll last me longer! ^^
aaand i got an A for the first assignment that was returned to us! :D festivals and events management field trip report, which i did on Singapore Arts Fest. awesome shit. thought my work was crap, but turned out to be an A surprisingly. i thought this sem was a goner! but not all hopes are lost! 4.0 is still within reach! ^^ hope that accounting test that is gonna be returned next wk will not be a disappointment. :/
i am a happy girl today! :D met with lenneth dearest for dinner despite the numerous setbacks! (esp with my mobile being uncontactable and etc) she has a new craze now! silly girl. if you ever read this, im gonna buy you lots of agar powder/make you lots of agar for your birthday. i'll make you an agar birthday cake! LOL. it was fun. and totemo shiawase desu! i feel loved by okita. hurhurhur. *smirks to self* okita-san ilu! ^^
the only thing left now is to finish up everything i have on hand! projects, school homework and god COSTUMES. cosfest is next wkend btw! :D 3rd and 4th july! tgx is the wk after on 10th and 11th july. do come support and have a look if you're free! :3
i miss darling. havent seen him in two weeks! i think i should go back to regular blogging. (if i have that much time to youtube around why not right?) although i think nobody reads this in the first place. i should try to revive it so that ppl will read! haha. when im more free i think i shall add a twitter column on my blog like claudia's! ^^
updates on streetfest with pictures will be posted when im more free! perhaps tmr in sch when i have a longggg 3-hour break. :/ im gonna be doing accounting now. see ya peeps! (if you exist at all)
♥ 171
Thursday, April 8, 2010
3:56 PM
Epic stuff.
Especially Sign and Bo Peep Bo Peep and sang really manrily! *hearts* jo kwon super uber cute in Sign prz, doing gain's part. 8D
