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Monday, October 12, 2009

2:54 AM

ahh~ one week more before sch reopens! kind of excited... but kind of not looking forward to it either. i wonder what's going to happen to me this coming sem... cheer training is gonna be stepped up cos of nationals and upcoming performances, projects as usual, and to top it all off... i have cds. and the thing is that im under the cert prog, meaning im taking 4 cds, 1 more than normal students... which means i'll be even more stressed. argh. kami-sama, tatsukete kudasai~~ T__T

on a side note, im in nationals! surprisingly. but im really sad that best buddy is not in. thanks to evil stepmother of modern days. this is like male version cinderella gosh. best buddy, i hope you're back for training soon. everyone misses you... come back soon! and the fact that im in nationals means i cant miss trainings as often during sch sem anymore. i seriously hope i can find the time to cope with schoolwork, cheer, cosplay and work. :/ sounds really hard to me.

well, if i can manage to pull off that STB scholarship i've been aiming then it solves the work part. i mean, $500 per month is enough to keep me alive. but the implications that comes along with it are quite serious... things that i must sacrifice at times... and the effort that i need to commit. sigh. why am i in such a dilemma.

i need to start sleeping early too! shit man. sleeping at 3 - 4 am is a really bad habit! i need to slowly change my body clock back to school hours if not im gonna be dead meat! blazers camp's crazy hours didnt seem to help improve my sleep late wake up late habit. sighs. talking about habits... i think i really need to change some of my bad habits. it's really tough cos i've tried, and somehow the same issue just slips out of my mind at a certain point of time. so now i got to really remind myself to change my ways, or else everything's gonna turn into a disaster. i dont want that. i'd rather die than to see that end. if the only thing, or rather, person, that's keeping me alive is being removed from my life, i'll just wither away and die... but this is not a suicide note yet so dont worry. (: everything's fine now.

I REALLY WANT TO GO FOR THE i love anisong CONCERT! because because, hatsune miku is gonna have her debut concert in singapore! although she is just a virtual character and may appear on stage being just a hologram... I STILL WANNA SEE HER AND LISTEN TO HER! but tickets are so darn expensive. $188 for both days! i mean like, if you want to go for the concert might as well buy the two-day one cos there's may'n on day 2 and miku on day 1. but im broke. i need to pay for my comic fiesta trip (which has been reduced to a pathetic number of 6 ppl going now), my bleach costume and wig, my dream nds lite, my konapun toy... what is there leftover for me to go and watch miku? ): sigh. i really hope money comes to me soon so i can get my ds. i really want to play harvest moon on a ds like right now. rawr.

enough of rants i guess. i want to see darling tmr. so i guess i'll be going over. (: i love you my darling. :DD kk i shall go and watch animes and stone until i fall asleep now... shall blog again soon...