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♥ 133
Sunday, May 17, 2009
11:18 PM

i was unhappy when i heard he wasnt going home with me. i was so unhappy that i nearly couldnt control my tears. it wasnt his fault he couldnt go home with me actually. but i just felt really unhappy WITH HIM. then after we went seperate ways i started to feel really sad that tears were just welling up in my eyes for some reason that i couldnt explain. i was concious that it wasnt his fault, but i just put the blame on him even if i didnt want to. i gave him attitude to show that i was unhappy but he didnt catch the hint, so i got more fustrated. but when he told me he missed me and he loved me, i knew i couldnt blame him anymore. so i ended up being angry at myself for blaming him. i wasnt very nice to him during this period cos i was in a bad mood. it just made things worse. because he ended up being angry at me. i know the fault lies with me but i have no idea why im like this. but it still boils down to one thing and that is i love him alot. and it's because i love him that's why these things happen. i just hope that he understands someday.

im so tired my legs are going to break. oh damn training tmr. DDD: