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♥ 80
Monday, October 13, 2008
5:05 AM

WHATEVER ETHER. just because you are tall. D: ( *it's a frown but it looks like this cos stupid blogger dont allow the usage of the arrow symbol. pfft*
anyway, im just here to voice out some thoughts. ignore this actually.

i have no idea why i tend to think so far ahead. and count the various possibilities that could happen to me, when i cant even deal with what's in front of me right now. i tend to jump over the hurdles thinking it's an easy feat, but just to realise that everytime i jump over one my stamina decreases. there are so so so many hurdles in life and i have to clear all of them. it is just so difficult, and impossible. but somehow, i will manage. i think. now im just staring at this hurdle right in front of me, contemplating -or rather, hesitating- whether to jump over it. im afraid i cant clear it, and then i fall. or maybe i would jump over it, but then somehow i kick it over or sth. i dont know. im scared to move forward. yet even before this hurdle is cleared im already thinking of the 10 other hurdles that are in front of me. sometimes when i think of them, it makes me happy. but some just makes me depressed. the happy thoughts are rather self-imaginary; normally they are just fantasies of things that could happen to me. whether they will happen or not, im not sure. but these happy thoughts could possibly be the one which keeps me moving forward. the one thing im most afraid of, is that i wish for too much. or perhaps dwell on sth too much. im not too sure myself either. but one thing for sure, i fantasise like crazy. of many things. not just of myself but of others as well. i dont know. my mind right now is like a protein molecule in its tertiary conformation. i need to time to straighten out my thoughts.

im thinking too much i guess. i can feel that your concern is genuine but, what are we right now?

OKAY STOP IT WITH THE EMO CRAP. *bangs head*